I remember, Je me souviens
I remember,
but mostly I’d rather forget
Mostly
I’d rather sit in my corner and cry, wail, lament
I remember the things we do and don’t do to each other:
war, injustice,
poverty, torture,
broken relationships, bullying, meanness, gossip, betrayal,
…
I remember,
but sometimes I’d rather forget
Denial tempts me
Because I don’t care?
or because I care too much?
or because I want to do
something about it,
or because I don’t know what
to do
I don’t know what to do.
Maybe I’ll try a different verb
Maybe I’ll feel for a time
Can I let my spirit take in the weight of the pain
without bouncing into a flurry of fixing?
[Deep breath]
I’ll remember
I remember the landmines, the tanks, the IED’s, the cruise missiles, smart bombs, the
automatics, the lasers, the precision shooting, the anti-personnel weapons, the atomic warheads,
the beatings, the abuse
the tools people design to kill
other people, other souls
guns with cool sounding names and serial numbers full of x’s
and o’s
I remember a fact: The money it takes to send ONE North
American soldier to fight overseas could build 20 schools in the same
locations, twenty schools.[1]
I remember collateral damage, the casualties, the
heroes fighting for freedom, the lost troops, the unfortunate incidents, the
friendly fire,
Euphemisms for dead
people
victims of the power struggles of the powerful
It is not the soldiers who declare war
90 percent of war’s casualties today are civilians. [2]
I’d rather forget,
But I remember
I remember the refugees of war,
their hunger for safety and hunger for food
Thirst for water, thirst for an absent mother’s milk
Wanting things to be as they were, as they might be, as they
never will
Craving for order, craving for comfort,
craving for meaning, craving for change.
I remember people seeking a refuge
A place that can
hold unending despair
suspended indefinitely in time
eternally temporary.
I remember another fact:
There are over 45 million refugees on our planet today
More people than in all
of my home country Canada
I’d rather forget
But I remember
I remember the children
who are the most vulnerable to the violence of war
and of the schoolyard
The children who have witnessed, participated in, escaped
from
horror
or those with good reason to fear it
The children who have
lost, who are lost
Lost limbs, lost family, lost hope, lost innocence
I remember the children who carry guns
I try to forget, my little ones
but I remember
I remember the women
Who,
through the use of sexual
violence as a strategy of war
or as a strategy of dominance
with any excuse
suffer brutally,
humiliatingly,
unspeakably
I try to forget, my sisters
But I remember
I remember those emotionally traumatized by war
Who wake up day after day,
to relive a nightmare
Who can’t erase the macabre visions that they witnessed
or that they perpetrated
Traumatic, post traumatic, re-traumatic, dramatic
broken people, breaking others,
broken trust, breaking bones
breaking homes
I remember the veterans who come back with intact bodies but
shattered souls
Stuck in a loop
they remember and remember and remember
but are forgotten by those they thought they were fighting
for
I try to forget, broken ones
But I remember
I remember God incarnate, Jesus,
suffering at the hands of violent men and violent systems
I remember the God of Peace, the Prince of Peace,
our Peace
Breaking down walls of hostility
I feel this pain
I will remember even if I don’t know what to do
I will remember so that I won’t forget
I turn to God with this remembrance lament.
[sung response: What
does the Lord require of you but to do justice, love kindness and walk humbly
with your God]
Michele Rizoli
Peace Sunday Sermon
November 7, 2010
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